holly's diary

First of all i hope that you all had a wonderful christmas. Ive got to say this was possibly one of my best christmas’s ever.
Christmas eve i finished work about 1ish. They had got me some christmas pressies which was such a lovely suprise. Id took in some homemade mince pies that JT had made the night before. Once i finished work i headed back home to get my bag packed as i am staying over at JTs over christmas. Both my housemates are going to their parents houses so i didnt want to stay at the house on my own. JT picked me up about 3pm and then we headed back to his, to give the house a really good tidy (quite difficult when the hall and kitchen extention as been newly plastered) and then while i was peeling all the veggies, JT was making his homemade stuffing and bread sauce. Ooooh and if he really wasnt brilliant enough with his cooking he had even made a couple of christmas cakes a few weeks ago and on christmas eve i got to marzipan the cakes for the first time

After tea i managed to fall asleep on the sofa and then we had to quickly get ready to get to midnight mass. It was so quick infact that i still had my handprint on my face from where id been lying on it too long lol
It had also started to snow a little bit so everything looked stunning.
Christmas morning JT woke me up about 7ish with breakfast in bed. We then opened the stockings that were hanging at the bottom of our bed’s. Id made them earlier in the month and i had stitched our names into the top of them with checked material. The idea for the stockings were daft little gifts so we had something to open before church. I got some great little things. I was stumped however with the individual wrapped little balls. I thought to start with he had wrapped up the ferero rochet chocolate that was one of my gifts. It took me about a minute and then i clicked they were CHOCOLATE COVERED SPROUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! He had done them the night before while i was asleep. He knows i love sprouts but id only warned him not to swap my chocolates for grapes and as i had never mentioned swapping them with sprouts he thought he was allowed to. ha ha ha.
JT had to open up church christmas morning so we had to be there for 9.30. His parents and Grandparents arrived at church about 10.15am The service was lovely they even had a game which was a cross between frostie the snowman and dusty bin (think 321 quiz show if your not not old enough) It was called frostie bin and you had to screw up paper and pretend they were snow balls to get in frosties mouth.
We then headed back to JTs and had a lovely day with his family. We all got some great gifts and even had a game of cards. Just as they were leaving it started to snow again so me and JT had a mad rush to get everything sorted as we were traveling to my parents house so we didnt want to get stuck in the snow.
We got to my parents by about 8.30pm ish and then got to open another lot of pressies We then relaxed and had our christmas tea. Mom had sorted out a fantastic spread and it was gorgeous.
Boxing day i didnt get up until 11am but i really needed the sleep and we had another relaxing day. Dad cooked a fab christmas dinner for the evening and the rest of the day was good. Even the dog was lethargic (much to JTs delight) as he had eaten more than normal.
Today i got up at 9am and we plan to go and have a look round ikea and possibly meet up with a friend for lunch before getting back to my parents as my nephew gets here about 3.30pm. I cant wait to see him as he is wonderful. He is now 11 and got the most fantastic sence of humour, plus he is gorgeous and he also thinks his auntie is still fab also
Right i had better get ready to go out.
holly xxx

Until i reach the big 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have phases on when i feel old and when i still feel young. Im not saying that 30 is old as it really isnt, but i think it comes down to perspectives on life. On the whole i love the age im at now and have felt comfortable with it for the last few years. I like the fact that i dont have to wear the latest fashions or that i can get away with not knowing the top 10 in the music charts anymore. I know they are daft examples but its really liberating.

There are some occasions however when i feel like im still a lot younger than i actually am. I remember at about 16 looking at the people in church who were in their late 20s and thinking they were really grown up and mature. Now im coming 30, i just cant see myself being seen by the younger generation like that, they probably do, but i dont always feel grown up, I still get insecure sometimes and still care too much what people think of me, i still make fashion mistakes and i still dont no how to use eyeliner.

I sound like im contradicting myself and i dont mean to, i think this age, although liberating it is also confusing for all those reasons above. Maybe we never totally feel the age we are and that everyone goes through the feeling of not quite growing up however we are percieved by the people around us. I had to laugh last year when someone younger said that i always seem to know what im doing in situations and that i have a sophisticated aproach to life. ha ha ha ha. If only they knew.
The opposite of that is when someone said to me once, that me and said person were so different that he could imagine that he would be sitting at the table with his partner reading something like the financial times and i would be sitting there with my partner slobbing on the sofa reading OK magazine. Two things went through my mind at that time. One was that i thought what an absolute PRAT and the second was that i was so completly insulted. Not that there is anything wrong with slobbing on the sofa reading OK magazine, but that it was seen as an insult that they are really clever and sophisticated and im just some thicko who doesnt have a braincell and spends my life doing nothing but being a couch potato. It took me a few months to get over that statement but now i only have one thought and that is my origional first one…….. PRAT!!!!! lol

These are some of my for want of a better word…. Confussions. Please feel free to add your own in the comments boxes.

I have BBC Good homes magazine every month, but last year i still brought a teenage magazine as i really liked the free bag.

I have smart healed shoes but cant walk in them. i do now own smart flat shoes now though, so thats good.

I enjoy nice meals out but my favourite puddings are trifle and angle delight with chocolate biscuits crushed on the top.

Most of my clothes are sensible but i do own pink shoes and a multicoloured woolly hat.

People say that im really confident and good at meeting new people, but inside im scared incase they think im really silly and i always worry incase i say the wrong thing.

I enjoy walking around and apreciating beautiful buildings with JT but also get excited when i look through household catalogues and find a new plastic gadget which i didnt think i could live without.

I have sang infront of hundreds of people but if someone asked me to do the overhead projector at church id refuse as its far too scary.

When i first started my old job this one girl thought i was posh but talked common so that i would fit in….. She soon learnt that wasnt the case.

The above statements arnt really meant to be seen as signs of being grown up but its bizarre how folks see one thing, but really we are feeling something completely different.

holly xxx